At some point, we’ve all caught ourselves thinking hard as hell about something while cleaning up in the shower. Solving a problem in our heads, turning over an idea or a decision—you know. There’s actually an entire Reddit community that’s devoted to documenting and sharing these shower thoughts. Here’s a roundup of the best user submissions.
Not Dumber, Just More Internetty
“The world isn’t getting dumber,” said Reddit user lb8ovn. “It’s just easier for dumb people to get their thoughts heard.” Praise Twitter and Facebook and every social media site in between. Ah, internet, you are a cruel mistress.
“At least we organize them into subreddits,” replied another user.
Your Opinion Is Wrong
“When we want another’s thoughts, we say ‘penny for your thoughts.’ When we offer up our own, we say ‘putting my two cents in.’ We value our own opinion twice as much,” wrote conkrad.
“I value my own opinion, like, at least three times as much,” replied another user.
Don’t Pass Go
“There should be a millenial edition of Monopoly where you just walk around the board paying rent, never able to buy anything,” said RonSwanson23. “And instead of jail you gotta move back home with your folks,” another user added.
That hits a little too close to home, as will many of the other upcoming thoughts.
About That Torture…
“Waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay sounds super rad if you don’t know what either of those things are,” wrote jgam7 a couple of years ago. Yikes. This one is pretty spot on; the submission is among the subreddit’s top posts of all time.
Another user replied, “The place literally took my breath away. Was really hard to leave!”
“Fitbits are just like Tamagotchis, except the stupid little creature you have to keep alive is yourself,” wrote Jimoiseau in early 2017. Well, they’re not exactly the same, but we can appreciate the humor behind the sentiment. Or at least a few of us can. “What’s a Fitbit?” asked another user.
Hindsight Is 20/20
“When I was 14, I thought I was so cool because I hung out with 20-year-olds. Now that I’ve grown up I’ve realized that they were weirdos for hanging out with me,” wrote xandrenia.
“They were only friends with me because they couldn’t make any friends their own age,” the user added in a later comment.
Designers Can Relate
AnimalCrust shared a very real thought: “As a graphic designer, my entire career exists because I was able to pirate Photoshop 10 years ago.”
Another user replied, “Pirating Photoshop is probably the best thing that happened to Adobe. When I got good with it, I eventually went legit and purchased it.”
Just Keep Swimming
“You’re supposed to become a pro after 10,000 hours,” said pyrodemon333, “but I’m 175,200 hours into life and still have no idea what I’m doing.”
“Maybe this living thing isn’t gonna work out,” another user commented.
“It won’t,” another user answered. “Enjoy the ride.”
A Problem With A Solution
“Vehicles today can surf the web, link to your phone, stream music and videos, etc.,” wrote dwarftosser77, “but they still can’t perform a simple database lookup to tell you what the check engine light is on for.”
True, but diagnostic tools are actually pretty cheap these days on Amazon!
About All Those Plants…
“Maybe plants are really farming us, giving us oxygen until we eventually expire and turn into mulch which they can consume,” wrote ergotpoisoning.
Another user replied, “What if oxygen is actually poisonous but it takes 80–90 years to kill a human?”
If your house is filled with plants, take note.
Just Need Some Identification
“I mostly use my driver’s license to buy stuff that impairs my ability to drive,” wrote mozezus back in 2016. The other Reddit users began attempts to one-up one another with various substances that fit the bill, including white-out, spray paint, and video games with adult ratings.
“If my data is used to stream an advertisement I should get paid for it. Data don’t grow on trees,” Kuugjuaq wrote. In true Reddit fashion, though, users didn’t all like this shower thought.
“That’s like saying you shouldn’t be charged for the electricity to power your TV when there’s an advertisement,” replied another user.
“I would never steal a credit card and use it to pay for stuff, because I’m sure I would not get away with it,” wrote Suuntavilkku, “but I am scared of people stealing my credit card and using it to pay for stuff, because I’m sure they would get away with it.”
“If I eat my meal from the frying pan at a restaurant, it’s sophisticated and a sign of quality,” wrote naraic42. “If I do it at home, I’m lazy and disgusting.”
“I hate to break it to you, but Chili’s is not sophisticated,” another user responded. Oops.
Keep It Clean
“Regret is the wet sock you get from not picking up the bit of ice that fell on the kitchen floor 15 minutes ago,” wrote i124nk8. Other Reddit users immediately chimed in to ask the submitter why they didn’t kick the ice under the fridge in the first place.
“If someone offered to pay for my food and rent for the next 18 years, I’d do anything they ask of me. But I complained every time I took the trash out while living at my parent’s house,” wrote __pharoah. Nothing to add—it’s just so true. Another nostalgic one up next…
The Nostalgia Is Real
“I often pick up an old video game really wanting to play and then get bored within minutes,” wrote togepitothemax. “It’s because I don’t want to play it as adult me,
what I really want is to go back in time.” It becomes even more of a bummer when you think of how the same logic can be applied to many more things…
Become One With The Furniture
“The older I get, the more I want to get off work early and rush home as quickly as possible,” wrote Chupadup, “to do absolutely nothing but be a part of my couch.”
There are few things that feel more relieving and calming than this—hot tubs, maybe some other stuff… you know.
Question Everything On April First
Remember this when March 31st rolls around: “April Fool’s Day is the one day of the year when people critically evaluate news articles before accepting them as true.”
That rings pretty true in the age of alternative facts and fake news, no? Just search for “people who thought The Onion was real” and enjoy the findings.
The Loudest Midnight Snacks
“You don’t realize how loud normal everyday activities are until you try doing them at 3 a.m. in a sleeping household,” wrote 250CrossFlow. Just think about it: Eating a bag of chips; Making coffee; Emptying the ice cube tray; The beep of the microwave. It all becomes so damn noisy!