Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow
With many services closed down right now, quarantine has forced most of us to take a DIY approach to our daily tasks.
But dog grooming is a very risky business. Get it wrong, and your relationship with your beloved pet quickly goes from “man’s best friend” to more of a “Tay-Tay vs Kanye” situation. Be advised.
You’d think celebs would have some kind of magic workaround to deal with those lockdown locks – but Captain America star Chris Evans is as clumsy with the clippers as the rest of us. “I assured him I knew what I was doing. He seemed skeptical at first, but with the help of a few treats, I talked him into it.”
There aren’t enough treats in the world to make him forgive you for this, Cap!
This shaggy sensation was just minding his own business when the quarantine clippers came knocking. The result: a poofy tail and a look on his face that suggests his owner has just been struck from the Christmas card list.
What do you think? Is he catwalk ready? Or the laughing stock of his doggy pals?
Imagine perfecting your dog trimming technique, saving you hundreds at the groomers, only to have your meddling mom look after her for the day and take liberties with this multi-layered monstrosity.
“No offense, but that’s dreadful,” offered one Reddit commenter. Wow. OK, it’s not exactly “the Rachel”, but tell me how you really feel.
“So, when cutting your dog’s hair for the first time, it’s best to very carefully–”
It takes a lot of self-confidence to start your pet’s haircut straight down the middle, but this pet owner clearly didn’t have an extra minute to mess around. Guess there’s plenty of time for it to grow back before his friends see it.
Have you ever looked at your puppy and decided the wisest thing to do during a global pandemic would be to use 80s TV icon Mr T as a reference for your pet’s quarantine makeover?
No, you haven’t. Because you’re not an insane person. And you don’t want your dog to defecate in your favorite shoes.
Ziggy’s owner decided to give him a haircut so he’d be fresh for his upcoming first birthday. The pair took the grooming session down to the basement so it would be easier to clean up the clippings.
But they never imagined there would be enough hair on the floor to make a whole other dog!
Bad Hair Month
Wow. What kind of superhero-level confidence do you need to shave your dog’s hair right down the middle – and then share the results on social media? I’d like to see you try something like that with a pit bull.
And is that… did they give her highlights? Were you trying to give your dog bangs? Who hurt you?
Dog To Rat
“Oh my God! I am looking absolutely fabulous today! You know, what? I’m just gonna go ahead and get that 80s glam rock band off the ground. All I need is a little backcombing – maybe a bit of hairspray for a volume boost – and we’ll be ready to start booking our first–
“What have you done?!”
This is not the look of a dog that’s happy with his haircut. This first-time groomer was a bit gung-ho with the clipper settings and gave his poor pup a bald spot on the top of his head.
And those aren’t exactly the kind of ears that can get away with a hat, are they?
If you’re new to dog grooming, it’s probably best not to start with the most visible parts – especially not the parts your dog can see.
This freshly-shaved hound is feeling the breeze, and he’s not entirely sure why his hairdresser hasn’t shown him the back with a hand mirror yet. Do they even make pants for dogs?
‘What Is That?’
If looks could kill, this long-haired pup might have been able to escape the grooming he’s clearly not in favor of having.
While we would have liked to see what this nervous dog’s “after shot” looked like, his suspicion of his owner’s stylist skills makes this poor pooch’s “before shot” a worthy inclusion in our list.
Holding A Grudge
We can understand why some of these dogs are angry with their owners, but that look of disappointment is just heartbreaking!
Gretel has clearly just returned from a ribbing from her puppy pals after her disastrous haircut, so she’ll be staying inside for the remainder of the quarantine… or until it grows back. Whichever comes first.