Have you ever noticed the disproportionate number of tricked out Honda Civics that are driven around, compared to normal Civics? 

Across the street from my house, there’s a 20 year old guy who lives with his parents.  He has an old Honda Civic from the nineties, and spends hours, every day, “tricking” it out. 


His hooligan friends all congregate at the house where they listen to music that has unnecessarily high bass (from their tricked out sub woofers).  They rev their engines as loud as possible (with their tricked out mufflers).  They they spin their tires every time they accelerate – as if they are in some sort of a rush.  They try to catch air with their wicked tricked out rear spoiler.  They turn on blue LEDs under their car at night.  They put their license plate diagonally instead of straight (this, the epitome of coolness).  They lower the car so that if they were to hit a pebble, it would scrape the bottom. 

But I have to hand it to them – they can turn a piece-of-shit car in into something half decent.

I suppose if I had no job, no responsibilities, still lived with my parents, and worked on my car all day, I’d be able to do the same. 

But I’d rather spend my money on, say, my family.

Ironically, I own a Honda Civic.  Mine is not “tricked out”.  In fact, mine has a dent in the rear bumper, and the “i” in “Civic” nameplate is missing, so it reads, “C vic“.  The visor on the driver’s side has come off, so I had to replace it with a roll of paper towels to block out the sun.  On the plus side, my brake pads are new in the front, and the tires are only a year old.  I recently washed it.

One day, to one-up the hooligans across the street, I’m going to trick my car out so it looks like this!

Take that, hooligans.  My spoiler’s bigger than yours.